u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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