In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
