I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I wear drunk well.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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