My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
