never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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