The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I want you more than these girls want KFC
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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