I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I understand Curling. That high.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
