fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
