no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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