Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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