there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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