Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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