Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
