Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
