I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize