i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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