Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
