Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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