i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize