Kiss
Puke
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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