He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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