First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
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You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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