Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
