Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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