whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
