Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
