Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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