I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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