I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
