the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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