your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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