nut hugger
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
