Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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