I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
