My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
