please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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