U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
