East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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