I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize