Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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