Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need a beard to bite.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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