I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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