fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
