I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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