He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
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Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
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i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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