was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
