dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just threw up on my dentist
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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