I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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