"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
