I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Welp...herpes.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
