When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
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I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
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Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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