So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i came on her dog
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
