he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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