you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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