Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
