Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
