i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
