That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
