All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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