I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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