i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.