so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
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SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
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I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus