My cat gives me a boner
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?